Ultimate Guide to Mediocrity

Dominic Ohai
6 min readSep 9, 2019

The only crime I remember committing was coming 4th for the first time in the Mid-term test. I just returned home from an intense 2-hour session of street football with my neighbourhood squad. I think I miraculously scored three goals in five sets. So that triumphant feeling of being the G.O.A.T followed me home. It was this same feeling that made the impending reprimand more painful.

I collected the mid-term report sheet earlier in the day. When I saw I came 4th in a class of about 26, I didn’t think much of it. This was, in part, because the person who came top of the class was my primary school wife. Our marriage was a very competitive one. I was pained but very proud of her that she left me in the dust. My father didn’t care that my madam was doing well. All he saw was that I lost focus (see what fine women do to me) and he would ensure I place that focus properly from that moment onward.

Photo by Mag Pole on Unsplash

On getting home, I saw my dad standing outside, holding the report sheet. My father was waiting for me outside and I didn’t see it as a red flag (I was not sharp back then). I rushed to greet him and he welcomed me with a very tight embrace…then proceeded to leave me standing outside for over an hour. Why was I being punished? No damn idea.

That was the day the mentality of fierce competition was ingrained in me. “Do you know why the second and the last positions are the same thing?” my dad asked me. Please, I am just seven years old. I only watch cartoons, eat food my mum cooks and work on my assignments before assembly time. How do I want to know what some adults don’t? “Second and last are one and the same because they are not the first”. That was my earliest memory of being utterly confused. Please sir, mi nuh unnersten sir.

It took me many years to fully grasp the meaning of that answer. But I am glad I did not wait for full comprehension before I started competing like a beast. After that life-changing episode, I do not recall getting second place in that class again. Some people mistook my fierce competitiveness for pettiness. Others took it for arrogance. I didn’t care. I was bagging wins. That was all that mattered to me…until I got to the outer world.

This post was intentionally to note insights on how to win. As I fleshed out its content, I realized I have not bagged enough wins to be an authority on this. Then I thought to share tips on how not to lose. Again, losses are vital ingredients for wins, so I canceled that thought. I am no authority on winning, it is a fallacy to write on avoiding losses. Would the gist I just gave you waste like that? I think not.

Everyone has goals and aspirations. There is that image of your future person your mind has creatively pictured. This image becomes all the more beautiful when you remind yourself there would be no one else in the world who would be that future you. As distinctive and individualistic as these images may be for every human out there, I would be shocked if someone has this picture of their future: A Mediocre Me.

A life of mediocrity is a waste of life. — Colleen Hoover

Mediocrity scares me. A lot. Nothing propels me to hustle like my fear of being mediocre. When I feel overwhelmed with work or some personal project, the ugly picture of a mediocre me creeps into my mind. I need not tell you how gingered I am to keep striving.

Recently, I finally connected the dots. The lesson my dad gave me years ago became as clear as crystal. Nobody remembers a mediocre.

To help in my never-ending battle against mediocrity, I have decided to note some sure-fire ways to end up being mediocre. Be advised: These tips are tested and proven to be very effective in achieving the status of “Mediocre”. Reader’s discretion is advised.

  1. Deliberately choose to be mediocre

This is undoubtedly the easiest way to get what you desire (if you truly desire it). The power of clear-eyed decisions can never be underestimated. If you purposefully decide to be mediocre (why would you though?), you would find out you have already achieved your mission.

2. Don’t set goals

High achievement comes from high aims — King Ching of Chou (1100 B.C.)

Achievements are against the principles of mediocrity. As a mediocre, you do not want to be seen smashing goals, making an impact or adding value. Those are legit the most abominable acts to the Society of Mediocre.

To maintain your respectable status as a member of that society, just ensure you never set goals. Live each day as it comes. When life gives you lemons, do not dare make lemonades.

3. Fear failure more than mediocrity

Fear is good. It keeps things real. Although everyone fears failure, people react to that fear in different ways. A short discussion with my college counselor helped me deal with my fear of failing my WAEC examinations. He told me to leverage the fear, use it to identify all possible ways of failing and make plans to mitigate or eliminate them.

Failing is not attractive in the least bit. No one wants to be identified as a failure. So it’s natural to always incline to shy away from doing stuff.

As a mediocre, you may have made some mistakes and set some nice goals (despite hinting you not to earlier). Be still and worry not, you can salvage the situation. All you have to do is let that fear of failure rule you. You are allowed to dream but do not act on those big dreams of yours. Never take on challenges. Never beat expectations. Never try to win or succeed. Never try to grow. NEVER DO ANYTHING! With this, you will never fail (or succeed either).

4. Surround yourself with mediocre people

It is a well-known fact that the people you surround yourself with, you become. The closer people are to you, the more influence they have over what you do. Proximity is Power.

You may be trying your hardest possible to be mediocre, but if you have high-achievers in your inner circle, you discover you would start thinking and acting like a high achiever too. This, clearly, is not what you set out to achieve.

To avoid such positive influence, it is pertinent to move with people with the same desire for mediocrity. So, whenever any of you feels like doing something great, you would all be there to lead them back to the right track of mediocrity.

In conclusion, it doesn’t really take much effort to be mediocre. Even without following the tricks above, you could very well get the same result. However, if you come to realize you are living a mediocre life, you have the potential and opportunity to perform arguably the greatest miracle of our time. To come back from the dead.

Thank you for reading. I would be most grateful when you leave those plenty claps and engage with me on here. Bless!

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